1988: All In The Family

The expectation was that this guy would be irresistible to women voters—
The campaign was quite serious about that far-fetched assumption. Even so, you have to wonder whether GHDubya Bush might have had some misgivings—if he happened to notice anything familiar about his running mate, an untalented ne'er do well whose excellent family connections brought him so near the highest office in the land.

Though Quayle's connections have sustained him in a lifetime of lucrative right-wing activism, it's hardly worth the effort to cite examples of his vapidity during the 1988 campaign.

But there is that obvious comparison...

For these 1988 quotes from Paul Slansky's The Clothes Have No Emperor— just change the names and dates—

"He was as vapid a student as I can ever recall... Nothing came out of his mouth that was worth remembering."
—Dan Quayle's political science professor, Robert Sedlack, who said he would "inevitably think of Dan Quayle" when he heard the phrase, "The world is run by C students"

"Girls, golf and alcohol."
—Dan Quayle's classmate describing his majors

"Dan Quayle was one of the few people able to get from the Deke house to the golf course without passing through a classroom."
—Dan Ouayle's English professor

"He doesn't have the greatest smarts in the world."
—James Quayle, Dan's dad

Slansky also quotes James Quayle as saying his son's main interests in school were "booze and broads."

The quality of Quayle's own public utterances—

9/8 Believing himself to be at his best off the cuff, Dan Quayle dismays his advisers by abandoning his prepared text and delivering a rambling, incoherent speech that leaves his Chicago audience baffled. Among the highlights: his citing of the Tom Clancy novel Red Storm Rising as justification for building an anti-satellite weapon, and his citing of the philosophy of basketball coach Bobby Knight to support increased defense spending. Says an aide of this ad-libbing, "We didn't think he would deviate that far."

On the domestic front, he declares that Republicans "understand the importance of bondage between parent and child," though, of course, he means "bonding."

In 1988, at least one journalist knew the score—

10/18 Children's Express reporter Suki Chong, 11, interviews Dan Quayle for a PBS show about the candidates. "Let's suppose I was sexually molested by my father and I became pregnant," she begins. "Would you want me to carry that baby to term?"

"My answer would be yes," says the visibly uncomfortable candidate, who looks younger than his inquisitor.

"But, don't you think this would ruin my whole life?" asks the girl.

"I would just like to see the baby have an opportunity."

"So," says Chong, with a directness infuriatingly lacking in her older colleagues, "although you're not actually killing me, you would sacrifice my prospects for the future for that baby."

"See, I've gotten to know you just a little bit," says Quayle, "and you're a very strong woman. You're a strong person. And ... though this would be a traumatic experience that you would never forget, 1 think that you would be very successful in life."

Later, she asks Bush campaign manager Lee Atwater if the message the choice of Quayle sends is that "kids should get average grades in schools." Atwater claims Quayle "wasn't an average student." Replies Chong contemptuously, "Of course he was."

Idaho roadside attraction: Quayle autographe