December 2006: Hillbillies And Other People Of The Year

hillbillybento.com

Given responsibility to arrange catering for the year-end faculty bash, Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant chose someone from her neck of the boondocks.

Party time approaches, with no sign of food delivery.

Jesus' BAA makes a frantic call to the caterer...

Who done wrote the wrong day on his calendar.

Clever Sister, who long worked in the food biz, raises virtual eyebrows—

OMG!!!!! That's something!
Did they run out to the 7-11 to get some vittles?

The lunch is moved to the next day, when the guy promises there will be much wonderous comping.

"Bologna & velveeta? Stuck on frilly toothpicks?" asks CS.

Time has met the Person of The Year, and it is Us.

watertiger agrees that she is the Average American—

1. I'm adamantly against the war.
2. I think George Bush is a criminal failure who should be impeached.
3. I hold down at least 2 (well, 3, if you count the blogging) jobs to keep ahead of the cost of living.

And so on.

whitehouse.org captures the quality of year-end reporting. The bloodthirstiness and triumphalism around Saddam Hussein's execution, here and here.

And of the tears shed over another death—Remembering Gerry Ford: President Bush Mourns Loss of Innovative Bestower of Felony-Erasing Pardons.

In other predictable events, the Frat Boy-In-Chief sneers at a persistent reporter: "It's bad in Iraq. That help?"

And baits Senator-elect Jim Webb about his son serving in Iraq. This, after being asked to be especially sensitive, because of the son's recent, narrow escape from death.

Not a circumstance Bush could conceivably have had anything to do with.

December 2005 (I): War On Brains

Soon after my arrival in this office, Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant forwards me a pantyhose coupon—"I hope you can use this! I send them to all my friends!"

She has "friends"? When the other workplace fundies try avoiding her, because she creeps out even them?

Of course, it may only have been meant to suggest that pantyhose are something I should be wearing...

Jesus' BAA does take sartorial improvement as one of her Rapture™ preparation duties.

Once, as I'm looking through the Chair's Office drive for a file, I come upon a Word doc of hers: "How to choose the right purse for your personality," copied from a cheesy site by one "Crystal Coons." I can't find the document or that site (if it still exists)—too bad I didn't save Jesus' BAA's extracurricular work at the time.

In over a year of having to brace myself to go to this environment every week day, listening to "Morning Sedition" until 8:00 was a sanity preserver. Something no longer there, since Air America yanked the show this month.

Considering how much we, the peons, have our lives ruled by executive decisions over which we have no say, this is a small thing. Yet it reaches some classic level of executive stupidity, connected as it is to the media climate we live in.

After the cancellation was announced last month, the network was deluged with support for the hosts and pleas to continue the show. But the program was deemed "not funny" by an audience of one: the CEO who wanted the show axed. Air America may not have much of a reach, but its management proves,unsurprisingly, that those who control media are those who shouldn't.

It's true that the show often made me late getting into the shower. And—a geezer on a rush hour bus full of sullen, half-asleep undergrads—I often had stretches of laughing uncontrollably.

There are audio archives here, thanks to a fan. This has selections for entire shows and individual segments, including the Jim Earl bits that had me hopelessly cracked up on the bus. "Rapture Watch" and "The War on Brains"—what could have been more appropriate, just before my daily in-person encounter with such things.

Jesus' BAA has been out since having shoulder surgery at the beginning of the month. This was supposed to have happened next March, but the hospital suddenly re-scheduled a few weeks ago.

Cruella was livid that Jesus' BAA "just ups and leaves when she feels like it!" She has spent the whole month bitching about Jesus' BAA, to everyone in earshot.

That even includes me—when I have to ask Cruella about something, I get a tirade on the lines of, "it's here, though it should have been done this way, but Jesus' BAA is incapable of that."

There already was a temp working on this floor; she has since been planted at the empty desk in our office, where she can listen daily as Cruella and Ghengis attack the missing one.

Whenever Jesus' BAA is not around, Red State Girl can be counted on to step in and keep up the annoyance level. She's another character I might feel a little sympathy for, if she weren't so obnoxious about trying to bully the other women into her schemes as would-be social director. And she always comes across like she's taking names of the gals who don't fall in line.

RSG is forever bringing in fund-raising projects on behalf of nieces and nephews, and I often hear her talk about how much time she spends with them. Judging from how officious she is with the female employees, I assume that she hijacks the kids to have people small enough to dominate. And I also assume that she uses them as a public shield, to look as if she were really a married lady with kids.

RSG's current project: selling plastic baggies of "Reindeer Food"—

Make a wish and close your eyes tight,
Then sprinkle on your lawn at night.
As Santa's reindeer fly and roam
This food will guide them to your home.
For your gift to the reindeer and Rudolph
Your wish may be real,
Your dreams may come true.

A pome so bad, I was sure she wrote it herself. Until I found it all over the Web—along with the recipe for oats mixed with glitter. Schools all over the Murkan Heartland must be making the kids raise funds with this. So there must also be mass wildlife poisonings from glitter ingestion.

I have no idea what blend of horror at the thought of idleness plus need for martyrdom motivates her. But on the 23rd Jesus' BAA drags herself from her sickbed, stopping by to distribute "gifts"—bags of homemade cookies and candies.

I didn't see her (or what kind of condition she was in)—just came back from lunch to find the bag left on my chair. Sugar cookies, three kinds of fudge, chocolate-coated peanuts, and peanut butter balls. I unloaded nearly all of it in the lunch room, but kept some of the peanut things, thinking my choc-aholic brother-in-law might like them.

He wasn't home when I got there, but Clever Sister tried a chocolate. And immediately spat it out, with an outraged—"Is she trying to poison you?!" The peanuts tasted rotten, the coating was dollar store quality fake flavor... of course I should have known better than to think anything from Jesus' BAA could be edible.

This is Jesus' BAA in a [rancid] nutshell: she believes she's doing a wonderful good deed and goes to so much work over the gastronomic equivalent of her "camp crafts."

Jesus' BAA will return to work early in the new year. When she will sit happily at her keyboard, and say, "It's amazing how much your shoulder hurts after surgery!...eh HEH eh HEH eh HEH..."

November 2006: Psychopaths? We Got 'Em!

A faculty wit signs a report, then returns it to me—addressed to the Department's "Oval Office."

Maybe he wanted to suggest my address is exalted—not that our Department administrators are psychopaths.

My read is certainly the latter.

Speaking of the type... the loathsome Joe Lieberman keeps his Senate sinecure. Having been unable to win a primary and unwilling to abide by the results, he's re-elected—by Republicans.

But, they always have been responsible for his career. Some background from Howie Klein—

In 1988 he challenged progressive Republican incumbent U.S. Senator Lowell Weicker-- attacking from the right-- and beat him. Lieberman ran a brutal and viciously negative campaign, mocking Weicker personally and even red-baiting him for being soft on Castro (William Buckley formed a PAC to raise money for Lieberman and later Jack Kemp called him "one of us.")

OpEdNews has more on Lieberman's history of Buckley/National Review backing here.

Now Lieberman has a new lease on doing Republican work—still Chairman of the Homeland Security committee, and ready to block a Katrina investigation that he claimed to want, pre-election.

As well as being in place to do as much other sabotage of the public good as he can. Kelly Caldwell—

Where does he find the time?

Not only has Sen. Joe Lieberman been working overtime to smother health reform, he's parked himself squarely in the path of another badly-needed, long-awaited change.

Namely: preventing restoration of FEMA to the previous status it had as an autonomous agency, before it was subsumed and subverted by DHS.

In other news of psychopaths: Bush waits until the day after the election to announce Rumsfeld's resignation—which Rummy submitted just before the vote.

Think Progress updates the post above

—The word "Iraq" doesn't appear in former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld's resignation letter. Neither does the word "war."

And Clever Sister forwards this amusing post-midterm piece from the Washington Post: Republicans' Angry Factions Point Fingers At Each Other. Michael Grunwald writes that—

After minutes upon minutes of soul-searching, Republicans are now in recrimination mode. And the GOP's various factions all agree: This wouldn't have happened if the party had listened to us.

And in Grunwald's description, finger-pointers attribute the party's losses to its rejection of "popular causes such as the minimum wage, embryonic stem cell research and lobbying reforms while ignoring health-care issues that did not involve Terri Schiavo." [!]

Along with communiqués addressed to the Oval Office, the month at work opens with a mysterious absence by Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant. As the hours go by without my hearing a word of explanation, I wonder if she has finally been Raptured™ away.

"Medical emergency?" suggests Clever sister.

Perhaps... Could there have been another starfish attack?

The mystery is solved late in the morning, when Dr. G. Zuss asks me to do something. Taking being spoken to as an opening for me to speak, I ask if Jesus' BAA will be in today. She will, is the answer. But sometime later—because, "the dog is delivering."

CS: "Family sick leave, then?"

Jesus' BAA is out of my life for the entire week of Thanksgiving. In the process of straightening out a mess she created, I cc her on an e-mail. Then get her so very professional out-of-office message: the dates she will be away; who to contact for assistance; and—

Have a very blessed Thanksgiving!

October 2006: To Hell In A Basket

[Telltale school colors
have been removed]
We're in the thick of the annual fund-raising season at work. There are multiple bake sales, raffles, auctions, contests—all pushed non-stop, until December.

The annual sale of indulgences begins—with labels saying, "I AM WEARING JEANS BECAUSE I HAVE DONATED $1 TO OUR CHARITY" now available. The secretaries slap these on their blouses so they can violate the dress code on Fridays.

It's true that anonymous contributions to the Suggestion Box have asked, "why do we have to observe a dress code in the first place, if it can be tossed out when people cough up $1?" Publicly, everyone is very, very enthusiastic, as management is very, very big on all this.

In December, the final take is divided among families of indigent patients at the University's hospital.

I would prefer to live in a civilized culture where people have health care and living wages.

But bake sales for the poor gets the seal of approval of our trailer park Republicans. Who like to believe, "we take care of our own: don't need no gubmint"—except for funding their jobs at a public institution...

One of the most beloved events of the season is the basket raffle. Work units come up with some theme and assemble a gift basket. The results are photographed and posted for employees to choose which baskets to buy chances for.

This time around, we have the creation above, with the donors' description—

"Homeland Security basket, Be Ready for ANY Emergency"
Camp Lantern & batteries, Faraday flashlight, candles, waterproof matches, portable camp shower (wash off chemicals from a chemical attack), first aid kit, Swiss army knife (to open the bottle of wine in an emergency), canned goods, can opener, water, Twinkies, chocolate bars, clothing bag (change your clothing in case of chemical attack), hand & toe warmers, photo album (keep pictures of your loved ones in case of emergency), playing cards, waterproof UNO cards, bottle of wine, “personal protection” (* and *, of course, [*school colors], and Glow in the Dark for power outages), and a fleece [Department logo] blanket.

Clever Sister asks,

"personal protection"? Condoms?

Robert Parry, on the Military Commissions Act: History should record October 17, 2006, as the reverse of July 4, 1776.

Marjorie Cohn brings up some past campaigns against dissent and perceived threats, from the Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798 to McCarthyism. And—

In 1944, the Supreme Court upheld the legality of the internment of Japanese and Japanese-American citizens in Korematsu v. United States. Justice Robert Jackson warned in his dissent that the ruling would "lie about like a loaded weapon ready for the hand of any authority that can bring forward a plausible claim of an urgent need."

That day has come with the Military Commissions Act of 2006. It provides the basis for the President to round-up both aliens and U.S. citizens he determines have given material support to terrorists. Kellogg Brown & Root, a subsidiary of Cheney's Halliburton, is constructing a huge facility at an undisclosed location to hold tens of thousands of undesirables.

The closeness of Halloween to Election Day may lead to some obvious metaphors, but they're unavoidable in the last few years.

Clever Sister sends an article published in the UK, Republicans say top Democrats support 'group of gay paedophiles'. Andrew Gumbel reports that in races around the country—

Republicans aren't going after their Democratic challengers much on Iraq, or the war on terror, or nuclear proliferation. Instead, members of President Bush's party are accusing their adversaries of being apologists for gay sex between adults and children.

This latest tactic is to try connecting Dems to NAMBLA. One of Gumbel's examples—

In California, a struggling Republican congressman called John Doolittle has argued that since his opponent, Charlie Brown, is a member of the American Civil Liberties Union, and since the ACLU has in the past defended Nambla's free-speech rights, he is tainted by association. "It is astounding," Mr Doolittle said in a recent press release, "that anyone could defend a group dedicated to aiding and abetting paedophiles." (Mr Doolittle failed to mention that he once acted as a character witness for a friend convicted of sexually assaulting six of his patients.)

Michael Winship's take on this and other slimy tactics—Election '06: I Know Pornography When I See It. From Limbaugh's attack on Michael J. Fox's courageous ads in support of pro-stem cell research candidates, to the NAMBLA charges, to absurdities like

...the...ad accusing New York State Democratic congressional candidate Michael Arcuri of spending tax dollars by calling a fantasy chat line from a New York City hotel. Apparently, an aide -- not even Arcuri himself -- was calling the state Division of Criminal Justice and misdialed the prefix code. The billing records are pretty clear. Cost to the state: $1.25. Humor value: priceless.

Winship concludes—

You want to know what real pornography is? It's the vice president's disingenuous comments about waterboarding and other forms of torture. It's American servicemen and women placed in harm's way by tragic miscalculation. It's an Iraq so deadly people are afraid to leave their homes for fear of abduction or murder...

It's kickbacks and bribes and naysaying scientific research on stem cells and global warming. It's attacking the lame, the halt and the needy and making the lie as American as apple pie.

watertiger creates a hideous jack o'lantern. And notes of another Republican–

Well, he's certainly hellbent on damaging the psyche of the next generation.

October 2005: Fright Fest

Versions of this object suddenly hang from the women's room cubicles at work. On the inside of the cubicle doors—to instill seasonal cheer, while serving as a reminder of being observed here, too, it appears.

When she sees aggressively ugly made-in-China decorative objects, Clever Sister will say, "now that was made by the Falun Gong prisoners—it's a cry for help!"

At noon on the 18th, I watch Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant, Dr. G. Zuss, and two women from his research staff leave the premises. They're off to a Boss' Day lunch! I can see it in Jesus' BAA's face, which glows even more feverishly than usual. She undoubtedly arranged this, in her ceaseless pursuit of Rapture™ preparedness points.

An Irish journalist has been very naughty toward he who presumes he is Boss Of The Whole World. Carol Coleman describes in great detail White House minions' pre-taping orchestration of her ten minutes with Bush. Including the offer of a possible interview with Laura, held out to ensure Coleman's good behavior.

That offer is withdrawn after Coleman tries cutting through Bush's talking points with, "...there is a feeling that the world has become a more dangerous place because you have taken the focus off Al-Qaeda and diverted into Iraq. Do you not see that the world is a more dangerous place?"

The event going off White House script as it does, an official complaint is lodged with the Irish embassy.

In another British reporting effort—BBC: God told me to invade Iraq, Bush tells Palestinian ministers.

About that so very holy war, Greg Palast describes a behind-the-scenes battle in which the State Department plus oil industry power brokers conquered Pentagon neoconservatives. Causing a "switch to an OPEC-friendly policy for Iraq...driven by Dick Cheney himself." Palast concludes that—

...Cheney, far from "putting the squeeze on OPEC," has taken his de facto seat there, assenting by silence to the oil monopoly's piratical price gouging. But hasn't OPEC's stratospheric crude prices choked the life out of America's auto industry and bankrupted half a dozen airlines? In the Vice-President's bunker the elimination of jobs of Democratic-leaning union members is likely seen as a bonus for the good deed of boosting oil industry profits far above the ozone layer.

Staggering amounts of death and destruction always being a small price to be paid—by other people.

And of course civil liberties have been a casualty all along—beginning with the initial election that had to be stolen for this gang to take power. There are always new examples, small and large.

A North Carolina high school student's assignment to take photos illustrating the Bill of Rights gets him a visit from the Secret Service.

And James Yee's book is just out. In this Democracy Now interview, Yee tells how, as a Muslim chaplain in 2001, the army relied on him to educate soldiers being sent to Muslim countries. And how much his superiors respected his ability to bridge the culture gap.

After being stationed in Guatanamo, Yee witnessed conditions for prisoners deteriorate over his time there. And, he began to hear reports of Muslim personnel being detained when they returned to the U.S.

Which is what would happen to Yee. He was taken to the naval brig where the American "enemy combatants" Jose Padilla and Yaser Hamdi were also held. In the manner familiar from this, Yee was transported to the brig wearing sensory deprivation devices, then held in isolation for 76 days.

Ultimately, all phony charges were dropped. Yee–

But what’s important is why did they bring those accusations against me? Clearly, to divert attention away from what the real issue was, what the real problem was, that the U.S. military, the U.S. government, made this huge mistake. They wanted to divert attention away from that and discredit me, because they knew, ultimately, I had raised many concerns and complaints about the treatment of detainees to the command.

In other domestic horrors, it's only a couple of months since Katrina, but they've been profitable ones for some. Naomi Klein on Purging the Poor. And Bob Herbert on Bush's photo ops: Bush's Pledge? The Joke's on the Poor.

Rosa Parks, R.I.P. With all her generation had to fight against, there were parts of the media that sometimes felt moved to point to things considered shameful.

October 2004: A Nightmare On Pennsylvania Avenue

2004's Scariest Halloween Costumes...
With what's at stake in the coming election, a couple brave members of our Department try talking sense into Cruella and Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant.

Since one of these is faculty, Cruella puts on a show of listening, while the guy—who really is quite conservative—talks reality about Bush.

Another time, I hear a youngish guy talking to Cruella. I haven't seen him before, but know he is Not Faculty. He's quite soft spoken and I pick up almost nothing, except an occasional, "Bush" ... until Cruella explodes, "Of course you'll LIE! You're A DEMOCRAT!"

I've been biting my tongue for months—yet another reason to curse the length of American campaign seasons! Now, I can't take it any more. I get up, walk across the room, and say with as innocent an expression as I can muster, "Cruella, are we supposed to talk about politics at work?"

She blasts back: "Oh, we talk about it all the time!"

She pauses, as something occurs to her. Then: "Don't tell me I hired a LIBERAL?!"

I smile, say nothing, then: "Oh my gawd, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HIRED A LIBERAL!!"

Me (slowly, patiently): "Cruella, what do you think 'liberal' means?"

Now, in all the years I will know her: ask a question, and she will unhesitatingly blurt out some load of bullshit. The less she knows about a subject, the more confident she is of her bullshit—of course, this personality identifies with Bush, or with any thug who never admits to being wrong.

But just this once, on being asked to explain what a "liberal" is, Cruella slows down and hedges enough to show she has no idea of how to even bullshit an answer: "Now... that's a... tricky definition ..."

Rescued as Ghengis walks through the door, she turns to him: "WE HIRED A LIBERAL!"

Ghengis jerks his head toward her: "In my office!" She follows him there, and the door closes.

For an uncomfortable moment I imagine they are discussing what to do about the LIBERAL in their midst. But I calm down, knowing they have bigger fish, so must be working on plans for the frying.

By now, the visitor has turned his attention to Jesus' BAA. Soon to be heard saying, "We did too find so many WMD in Iraq!"

It's painful to witness the know-nothingism on display. If there were ever a reckoning for Bush, et al, these people will be like the Germans who still say, "The only thing Hitler ever did wrong was to lose the war."

Meanwhile, their fine, upstanding party engages in stuff like this—

Terry Anderson, a Democrat running for a state Senate seat and a former hostage in Lebanon, walked out of a debate with the Republican incumbent, Senator Joy Padgett... over Ms. Padgett's use of a photograph of him with an official of the Hezbollah terrorist group. Mr. Anderson said that the photograph in a Padgett brochure suggested that he was soft on terrorism, when in fact the picture was taken when he returned to Lebanon to confront the terrorists who held him captive from 1985 to 1991.

This in Ohio—which in terms of national election-rigging efforts is shaping up to be the Republicans' latest version of 2000 Florida.

Columbus-based Bob Fitrakis and Harvey Wasserman, on Twelve ways Bush is now stealing the Ohio vote—

The Republican "November Surprise" to steal the 2004 election is in full force here in Ohio. With polls showing a dead heat, the GOP is staging an all-out attack on a fair vote count in the Buckeye State.

Fitrakis and Wasserman outline some highly creative techniques for infringing on the voting rights of "the wrong people."

Methods ranging from this—

Under an archaic Ohio law, both the Republican and Democratic Parties, or any slate of five candidates, may embed official election challengers inside polling places. The New York Times reported on Oct. 23 that the Republican Party intends to place thousands of lawyers and other GOP faithfuls inside the polls to challenge voters. Republican insiders confide here that the key goal is to jam lines and frustrate new voters... This is certain to be a major tactic in Cleveland's Cuyahoga County and other Democratic strongholds. The GOP is not planning to challenge voters in Republican districts.

To this—

Secretary of State Blackwell ruled that any voter registration form on other than 80-pound weight bond paper would not be accepted. This is an old law left over from pre-scanning days. Many voters who had registered on lighter paper, had their registration returned, even though the forms had been officially sanctioned by local election boards.

Because—

No Republican has ever won the presidency without carrying Ohio. This year the GOP seems determined to win it, no matter what they have do to the electoral process.

The more intense the activity, the more likelihood of slipping up, and some GOP e-mail traffic becomes public—

OCTOBER, 2004: Recently, we at GeorgeWBush.org happened to notice that our mail server had a default "catch-all" mailbox, which for the past several months had been quietly gathering any and all e-mails addressed to [INSERT-ANYTHING-HERE]@georgewbush.org. We felt the need to share.

GeorgeWBush.org being another project of the whitehouse.org team.

Attached to two of the E-mails are spreadsheets labeled, "caging." These files contain names and addresses of Jacksonsville,FL residents of predominately black areas—evidence of plans to target these voters and keep them "caged," through election day challenges.

In the years to come, the caging planners will be rewarded with high positions in government, and in that criminal enterprise, the Republican Party.

This year, it's up to We The [wrong] People to spend every possible moment before deadlines registering new voters—in hope that increased numbers can outweigh the vote suppression efforts.

And it's up to us to convince everyone we know to vote Democratic.

A month ago, Clever Sister forwarded the plea she sent to an ex-pat friend who prides himself on not voting. Besides outlining just how bad things here have become in four years, CS sends thorough directions on overseas registration, absentee voting, and all possible voting options and sources of information.

Among her entreaties—

Bush stole the election by only 537 votes in Florida!
Every vote counts this year.
SO your vote could be the one that rids us of Bush.

In spite of the media spin & news blackout
NBC owned by GE
FOX very right wing
CNN Time Warner
50% of the country gets it & wants Bush out...

We spend every free hour working to defeat Bush –
don't let the polls fool you: they are bullshit!
They don't call people with cell phones, people with caller ID don't answer - they only call elderly republicans!

And I've been typing my fingers to the bone, trying to get through to a friend I've known since 6th grade. From all I know of her history, I would expect her to be turned off by the pitch to the authoritarian personality. But then again, decades of right-wing propaganda and corporate media consolidation have done their work.

It all leaves my friend, like so many, as easily misled—all her time is taken up by work and family problems. She isn't exposed to "news" until her husband tunes in Fox. She believes that she was able to repair the car and squeak by one more year because Bush gave her a "tax rebate." And, there's no convincing her the latter is actually an "advance," to be repaid many times over in the future.

And she keeps bringing up what her has husband told her: that gunshots were fired at a Bush campaign office. CS tracks that down as being reported only in TN: by local papers saying, by the way, there was a bank robbery in progress across the street!

That's all it takes to create a legend to terrify my friend, distracting her from the fact that she has a draft-age son. So I keep trying anything—excessive caps and all—to get her attention:

I met Max Cleland briefly at a rally a couple months ago. He's a Viet vet/TRIPLE AMPUTEE who was head of Vets' Admin, then senator from Georgia. He lost his Senate race in 2002 after Rove ran ads calling him unpatriotic & comparing him to Osama! He was very popular in Georgia, & the election was conducted on touch screens controlled by a Republican company, so it's probable that he actually won.

But I mention it because this gang slimes anyone they run against, and they MAKE UP EVERYTHING! There's absolutely no relation to reality, but they lie over & over until a lot of the public believes it.

I was just reading a long article about past campaigns by Rove, & the tactics he uses over & over (including a phony recount in '94). One time, Rove printed up smear literature against HIS OWN candidate, to make it look like the other side was pulling dirty tricks!

They're getting away with sending inadequately equipped troops to be sitting ducks. All the years Kerry's been in Congress, vets from all over the country (not just his own state) knew they could go to him when they had problems with the VA, & he's always helped them. But how many people who won't admit that Bush is exploiting the military will fall for the lies about Kerry? They have to paint him as opposite of what he is: someone who knows what war is like, deeply cares about vets, & wouldn't go looking for unnecessary wars.

And on that last point—there's new confirmation of what's seemed apparent all along—

Two years before the September 11 attacks, presidential candidate George W. Bush was already talking privately about the political benefits of attacking Iraq, according to his former ghost writer, who held many conversations with then-Texas Governor Bush in preparation for a planned autobiography.

"He was thinking about invading Iraq in 1999," said author and journalist Mickey Herskowitz. "It was on his mind. He said to me: 'One of the keys to being seen as a great leader is to be seen as a commander-in-chief.' And he said, 'My father had all this political capital built up when he drove the Iraqis out of Kuwait and he wasted it.' He said, 'If I have a chance to invade?. If I had that much capital, I'm not going to waste it. I'm going to get everything passed that I want to get passed and I'm going to have a successful presidency." Herskowitz said that Bush expressed frustration at a lifetime as an underachiever in the shadow of an accomplished father. In aggressive military action, he saw the opportunity to emerge from his father's shadow. The moment, Herskowitz said, came in the wake of the September 11 attacks. "Suddenly, he's at 91 percent in the polls, and he'd barely crawled out of the bunker."
...

According to Herskowitz, George W. Bush's beliefs on Iraq were based in part on a notion dating back to the Reagan White House - ascribed in part to now-vice president Dick Cheney, Chairman of the House Republican Policy Committee under Reagan. "Start a small war. Pick a country where there is justification you can jump on, go ahead and invade."

September 2004 (I): Objects Of Admiration

Photo: Steven Peterson

The Republican Convention opens for maximum date proximity to and exploitation of the magical 9/11 anniversary.

New Yorkers and others speak out, with CNN headlining a story, "GOP convention protest covers miles of New York." And also reporting the "miles" were filled by "tens of thousands of demonstrators."

Organizers estimate 500,000.

There's also this on September 1: Three-Mile Long 'Unemployment Line' Gives Bush the Pink Slip.

Over 1800 arrests are made in the course of the convention. Police documents will finally be released in 2007, after years of ACLU efforts. From James Ridgeway: the documents show the NYPD began plans in May to arrest protestors at the August convention instead of issuing summonses. Meaning, "You got to a judge in New York faster during the convention than you would have had you robbed a bank." And—

The documents show the cops themselves agreed with the protestors in that 40 officers filed occupational health forms complaining about environmental conditions at the 57th Street pier, a former MTA bus depot, that served as a holding and processing facility. The officers said they were exposed to asbestos, carbon monoxide, sludge, oil, fumes and toxic materials.

At my workplace the wingnut women go on about listening to Laura's speech and how wonderful she is. From Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant: "she humanized him!"

Also according to Jesus' BAA, "Vice President Cheney has a lot of good ideas, too...I don't remember what they are ... [pause to rev up manic laughter] ...Eh heh! Eh heh! Eh heh!"

Charles Pierce later observes of this election season—

...At the end of August 2004, the Zogby people discovered that 57 percent of undecided voters would rather have a beer with George Bush than with John Kerry. Now, how many people with whom you've spent time drinking beer would you trust with the nuclear launch codes? Not only is this not a question for a nation of serious citizens, it's not even a question for a nation of serious drunkards.

The regime has two strategies of public image management. One is the story for the rubes—George is a regular fella, with adoring, properly Stepfordian, wife by his side.

Which must be what Jesus' BAA meant by Laura's "humanizing" her awesome leader. It no doubt takes a zombie to identify with another one, and this one sure seems to feel a kinship with Laura. In the case of Jesus' BAA, I have no idea if the glazed eyes and fixed smile are just the mark of a 100 percent true believer. Or if Jesus' BAA is emulating her heroine's level of medication.

Of course, when anyone with access to the public ear and eye tries telling a story different from the regime's, that activates the other tactic: to smear—and if possible, destroy—the subject. (A little on some recent efforts in Part II.)

Meanwhile, the glow that comes from a well-cleansed mind sometimes departs the face of Jesus' BAA, and worry over Sonny, Jr.'s departure for boot camp takes over.

The wheels begin turning—she works for Dr. Gott, a big man in his field who travels the world attending professional meetings. Jesus' BAA asks the good doctor for travel advice, as she plans a family trip before Sonny, Jr. is to leave. Specifically, could Dr. Gott suggest good places to eat at -----burgh?

Now, this place is about 50 miles from here: one of those staving off Depression foothill/mountain towns (there are a few around the country), that made themselves into "alpine" theme towns following the loss of logging, or whatever economic source they once had. Low-budget Disney, in other words, and Jesus' BAA's idea of an exotic trip.

For which she seeks guidance from the world traveler...she's so pathetic, there are times I start to feel sorry for her. But I soon get over it, as I listen to the rest of what she spouts.

Charles Pierce again, from a piece this month, "Daddy Darkest"—

[Andrew] Card...had to interrupt the ensemble reading of The Pet Goat in order to tell George W. Bush that someone had flown airplanes into the World Trade Center, thus starting the clock on the now-famous Seven-Minute Glaze. Card was talking... about that moment, clinging to the GOP talking points like a nun to her beads. The president "didn't introduce fear into any of those young children or through the national media, to the American people," explained Card. Then, he attempted to explain how the president feels about the 200 million-odd souls who are, after all, his employers:

"It struck me as I was speaking to people in Bangor, Maine, that this president sees America as we think about a 10-year-old child. I know as a parent I would sacrifice all for my children."

Let us leave aside any discussion prompted by Card's remarks that might uncomfortably contain the word "Fatherland." Let us take him at his word -- namely, that the president of the United States looks at the world's longest-standing free democratic republic and sees . . .

A middle-schooler.

...what Card said perfectly encapsulates this administration's approach to governance -- its fundamental contempt for democratic restraints and its hubristic insolence toward any limits on its political appetites. Our president is our Daddy. He will make his wars to keep us safe, and all we have to do is love him back, and do what he tells us to do. Go shopping. Go on happy vacations. Leave the decisions to Daddy and to Daddy's friends. They run things so we don't have to.

"Love him back"—and give him your first-born.

They've certainly tapped into the psychology of my office.

August 2007: In The Path Of Destruction

"Isn't that terrible!" Cruella and Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant exclaim over the Minneapolis bridge collapse.

There's no connection, after all, between the kind of Republicans they vote for and this starving public works of funds...

"Nation's Crumbling Infrastructure Probably Some Sort Of Metaphor," suggests The Onion.

But not to worry, says whitehouse.org—"Minneapolis Bridge Collapse: President Comforts Grieving Families With Pledge to Continue Rebuilding Iraq's Infrastructure."

In Utah, while miners remain trapped in the collapsed Crandall Canyon mine, owner Robert Murray commandeers press conferences to blame the union—to which his workers do not belong. Tula Connell covers the scenario, in which Murray also claims a non-existent an earthquake caused the collapse. Anything to deflect from the mine's being cited—by Bush era inspectors—for 325 safety violations since January 2004.

How unsurprising: workers' lives in jeopardy, and the media can't get enough of a camera-hog Republican activist who previously called concern over worker safety, "anti-American." Meanwhile, the trapped miners die, and three rescue workers are killed trying to reach them.

This month also marks the 20th anniversary of the hit job on the fairness doctrine, by Reagan-appointed FCC commissioners. Since then, two decades of ownership concentration, plus the rise of christianist broadcasting have done the job of destroying any semblance of information in the public interest.

Media Matters attempts the month's worth of debunking in seven pages, starting here. Ranging from "Wash. Post's Marcus ignored key info in concluding Gonzales not guilty of perjury" (8/1), to "Media ignored Mississippi's use of waivers to redirect funds designated for low-income Katrina victims" (8/30).

A Mother Jones piece by Jean Casella and James Ridgeway—Windfall: How Conservatives, Contractors, and Developers Cashed In on Katrina—is a second anniversary review of events. It's also a reminder of how the media woke up for a few moments, expressing outrage not to be sustained for long.


On August 16, Jose Padilla is found guilty on all counts, after a day and a half of jury deliberations. Since its start in May, Lewis Koch has covered the trial for firedoglake. Links to stories are here, here, and here. Koch on July 13–

The prosecution has concluded its case against Jose Padilla, and two others charged with conspiracy to help support violent Islamic extremist groups worldwide. The total hard evidence against Jose Padilla consists of an alleged Al Qaeda training camp application form document Padilla allegedly signed in July 2000. The paper was among a myriad of documents handed to a CIA agent in a remote area of Afghanistan by a complete stranger.

Koch does an admirable job of covering the issues created by Padilla's imprisonment and trial. An American citizen stripped of all constitutional rights after being classified an "enemy combattant," to be held in isolation and under 24-hour observation, for three and a half years. The shackled Padilla is then taken to court wearing blinder goggles, for a trial that would never have been held if the administration hadn't needed to head off a Supreme Court challenge.

Democracy Now interviews forensic psychiatrist Dr. Angela Hegarty. After interviewing Padilla for 22 hours to evaluate his mental health, she concludes, "What happened at the brig was essentially the destruction of a human being's mind...[Padilla's] personality was deconstructed and reformed," the final product of the severe isolation being consistent with brain damage.

More detail from Dr. Hegarty's observation of "Padilla's absolute state of terror, terror alternating with numbness"—

It was as though the interrogators were in the room with us. He was like—perhaps like a trauma victim who knew that they were going to be sent back to the person who hurt them and that he would...subsequently pay a price if he revealed what happened...

Also he had developed...a tremendous identification with the goals and interests of the government. I really considered a diagnosis of Stockholm syndrome. For example, at one point in the proceedings, his attorneys had, you know, done well at cross-examining an FBI agent, and instead of feeling happy about it like all the other defendants I’ve seen over the years, he was actually very angry with them. He was very angry that the civil proceedings were "unfair to the commander-in-chief," quote/unquote. And in fact, one of the things that happened that disturbed me particularly was when he saw his mother. He wanted her to contact President Bush to help him, help him out of his dilemma. He expected that the government might help him, if he was "good," quote/unquote.

Scott Horton in "Bush and the Art of Breaking Human Beings" concludes, "The Padilla case is important as a demonstration of the power of isolation tactics to destroy a human being—without producing anything of gain."


"As flies to wanton boys are we to the Mainstream Media; They kill us for their sport"—driftglass, on the death of Richard Jewell at 44. From the AP report: "The Jewell episode led to soul-searching among news organizations about the use of unattributed or anonymously sourced information. His very name became shorthand for a person accused of wrongdoing in the media based on scanty information." From driftglass—

It is well to remember that once you have had a target painted on your back and the shelling begins, you are never whole again.

...And it is also well to remember that this ever-hungry slaughterbeast that rips men apart and drives them falsely to infamy, despair, suicide and ruin is the favorite pet of the GOP...

And that it was not Richard Jewell who murdered and maimed so many in Atlanta, but White Conservative Christopath Terrorist Eric Robert Rudolph.

Who, like White Conservative Christopath Terrorist Timothy McVeigh, did nothing more than implement in deed the kind of homicidal Jebus Jihad against liberals and government employees that the Mullahs of the Christopath Right like Tom DeLay, Jerry Falwell, Pat Roberston, Ann Coulter and Michael Savage (to, sadly, name only a few) have been relentlessly and hysterically fomenting for the last 30 years.

God's peace be with you, Mr. Jewell, and with your loved ones.

I'm sorry our culture destroyed you.

July 2008: Pictures, Words

When the daughter-in-law of Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant threatened to abandon unemployed Sonny, Jr. (and baby) for an army paycheck, J's BAA went into action.


Sonny, Jr. has now worked in our Department for nearly a year.

By hiring Sonny and making Jesus' BAA happy, the IT manager surely made Dr. G. Zuss happy, too.

This couldn't have been nepotism because, according to Jesus' BAA, Sonny, Jr. is a computer jeenyus. Just like his pappy, who is, "a geek in civilian clothes...just a nice guy..." Unlike your usual satanic computer guys, apparently.

Whatever talents Sonny, Jr. may possess, they don't include figuring out how to compose an email and send it to the appropriate persons. The entire Department—over nine hundred strong—receives an All Staff—

Subject: sonny not coming in today

7/16/08 8:59 PM

i have a dentest and doctor appointment today so i will be missing today

Which doesn't even make sense in terms of time stamp/"today" correlation...

Clever Sister remarks:

"Dentest"
It ain't in the dictshunary

"will be missing"
MIA?

Wow! What does this person do?

A rhetorical question, as I've already told her what Sonny does—be related to our Department Chairman's admin assistant...

Later, CS actually finds a "dentest"...


With McCain's campaign so busy setting up their candidate as the butt of jokes, water tiger keeps busy with photo enhancement opportunities.

There was McCain's Baghdad jaunt at the end of March—

One of Mr. McCain’s colleagues on the visit to the Baghdad market was Rep. Mike Pence, an Indiana Republican, who marveled at the peaceful scene and compared it to a "normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime."

Earning water tiger's response—

John McCain Visits Indiana

In April, visits continued to be paid...

John McCain Visits Orlando...

...San Francisco...

...The Lower East Side...

...Portland, Maine...

This month, water tiger on McCain's trip to Columbia (with soulmates Joe & Lindsay)—

The Sunshine Boys play Cartagena

In contrast to that bunch of losers, are the real players:

Well, somebody accomplished his mission.

From Think Progress:

In a 1998 interview, Osama bin Laden — the terrorist organizer of 9/11 who still roams free — listed as one of his many grievances against the U.S. that Americans "have stolen $36 trillion from Muslims" by purchasing oil from Persian Gulf countries at low prices. The real price of a barrel of oil should be $144, bin Laden demanded.

Ten years ago today, the price of a barrel of oil was just $11. Heading into this holiday weekend, the price of a barrel of oil rested at $144 — a thirteen-fold increase.

water tiger is such a treasure, I was thinking of just using this month's space for links to her recent stuff.

Then as soon as I had that thought, I saw

Bush looks to legacy at last G-8?

From McClatchy:

"People read the American poll numbers and realize there's no juice behind Bush," said John Hulsman, an analyst for the German Council on Foreign Relations, a research center. "They (other G-8 leaders) will be polite, they'll be respectful, they'll listen to him, but they can't wait for him to leave the room."

They're not the only ones. Let's recap, shall we?

Followed by water tiger's compilation of some key images from the last few years: the smirking frat boy juxtaposed with some of the consequences of his having been placed where he is.

Sometimes a picture of Bush is worth a thousand laughs.

But the pictures that remind us of his victims—there's no counting the tears or measuring the pain caused by what those images represent.

July 2007: Hot Fun In The Summertime

Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant returns from camp—on crutches, after spraining an ankle in an overzealous volleyball move. Due to thinking, "the higher the leap, the closer to God"...?One year after Sonny Jr's wedding, the couple and kid still live in the basement, chez Jesus' BAA. Sonny III is six or seven months old, and called "S3" by his parents. Is that supposed to sound like a truck model? Or, maybe it's to emulate the family heroes: the dynasty where father and spawn refer to each other as "41" and "43."

Sonny, Jr. just lost the job he'd gotten recently. He had been sick for a day, then in a vehicle accident and out a second day. Which exceeded his "one absence per first six months of employment"...

Jesus' BAA relates this without comment. And she may very well think it's just dandy—that God has directed the company to make the rules, and the employees to obey.

In any case, Sonny is unemployed. The fights over money have begun... and Elly May threatens that, if Sonny doesn't start earning some pronto, she will join the army.

This is about all these people have in their repertoire.

Dr. G. Zuss may not yet have gained control over employee work station décor, but this month he compensates with an art-shopping spree for the executive suite and surrounding areas. The budget for this includes the services of—an Art Consultant. Who guides Dr. G. Zuss in finding art both to his liking and suitable for "Our Department's Brand."

Because I see the receipts, I know a bundle has been spent on a number of rooms and other spaces. Including the hallway outside the executive suite: a space so narrow it's impossible to look at what's on the walls without walking either into people passing or the art itself.

And "Our Brand" is...what? Most departments hang art that has something to do with their field—or else with the University in general, or the sports teams.

Our CEO mainly wanted to coordinate art to his new wall colors. And he likes mildly abstract pictures—so we now have architectural detail photos of buildings in anonymous locations, shot in extreme close-up and "creative" angles.

Jesus' BAA must have been especially shocked that her boss likes abstraction.

Cruella, on the other hand, barges into the room, oohing and ahhing to Dr. G. Zuss, and announcing, "your taste is just like mine!"

Dr.G. Zuss gets the mildly pained look that comes over him when the underlings speak without having been spoken to. He makes no reply, and Cruella's gambit doesn't seem so effective. But for her, currying favor with authority is a life-long campaign, not to be slowed by a momentary setback.

There's another notable change in the surroundings.

For years, there's been an unmarked room outside the executive suite. It would appear to a storage room, but the unlocked door periodically swings open to reveal a sink and toilet stall.

These are used only by Dr. G. Zuss and Mr. Ghengis. There is an unstated rule that the toilet is off-limits to everyone else—even the most senior male faculty and division chiefs pass it by, to use the men's room farther down the hall.

As the redecoration spree winds down, I walk in one morning to find new wall signs outside the rooms. The room that was previously private, but discreetly so, is now marked, "Executive Washroom." Which is repeated in Braille—presumably, one can't be too careful about blind people entering places above their station.

I report this to Clever Sister, as well as to friends and relations in other departments. In total, the sample represents many decades of experience throughout the University. And the amazement over this piece of chutzpah is unanimous.

The University is a hierarchy, but it's also a public institution, and distinctions are not usually flaunted this much; not so publicly, in a hallway with a lot of traffic. The upper reaches may well have executives-only facilities, but I've never been around a department that's announced it so blatantly. Nor has anyone I know.


Dateline: July 4, 2007—

American citizens will now be compelled to allow British soldiers to live in their homes, thanks to a new signing statement from President Bush.

By negating the Third Amendment, the new order completes the abrogation of the entire United States Bill of Rights. High-level White House sources have indicated that this was Bush's sole purpose in issuing the statement.

Actually, from a "prediction" by Bob Harris, a year ago. Not really so over the top, the joke being based on too much painful truth—

The signing statement — Bush's once-controversial practice of amending and interpreting laws as he signs them, arrogating to himself the traditional roles of both the Congress and Supreme Court — was the 1,745th of Bush's presidency. Previous signing statements have negated the prohibition of torture, eliminated oversight of Bush's use of the Patriot Act, and declared "Englesh" the official language of the United States.

Some constitutional scholars claim that Bush's total number of signing statements is actually 1,744, and that statement number 1,309 was, in fact, an uncompleted seven-letter game of Hangman.

As for our moronic political campaign season, driftglass writes of the Sunday morning pundit show commentary:

Hoss race toutin'.

Feh.

If I want to see overpaid men running in meaningless circles, NASCAR is only a click away...

Among the paragons already in office is David "Gays Threaten Marriage" Vitter. Elected to the House from Louisiana in a 1999 special election—after an adultery scandal led to Bob Livingston's resignation.

During his 2004 campaign for Senate, Mary Jacoby's Salon profile described Vitter's political rise, despite "rumors involving a prostitute and a secret alliance with neo-Nazi David Duke"—

He presents himself as a morally righteous, clean-cut family man, and his wife and three young children have become virtual campaign props. The Harvard-educated Rhodes scholar is also extremely intelligent, observers say, and runs perhaps the most effective political ads in the state. But there are hints of a dark side: allegations of an affair with a prostitute and a lawsuit claiming he lost his temper and physically charged at a woman at a town hall meeting.

And as his political career got underway—

Asked by an interviewer in 2000 whether she could forgive her husband if she learned he'd had an extramarital affair, as Hillary Clinton and Bob Livingston's wife had done, Wendy Vitter told the Times-Picayune: "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."

But Republicans are nothing if not forgiving.

Even after Vitter is publicly identified as a "D.C. Madam" client, Mrs. Lorena Bobbitt Vitter Stands By Her Man.

And even after becoming known as "Diaper Dave," his Republican colleagues gave him a standing ovation on his return to the Senate. An event commemorated for posterity by water tiger.

July 2006 (I): Invitation

Photo: etsyapril

An envelope appears on my desk. In the handwriting of Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant, addressed to "[My Name] and Guest."

Enclosure #1 is a printed card:

Two lives, two hearts
Joined together in friendship
United forever in love.
It is with joy that we,
Elly May Xxxxx
and
Sonny Xxxxx
Invite you to share in a celebration of love
As we exchange our marriage vows
[date/time/church location]
Cake Reception to follow in the Fellowship Hall

"Cake Reception"...? Clever Sister informs me this is a Southern Baptist rite: cheap sheet cake and fruit punch, which eliminates booze and the expense of a meal, while allowing the family to demand gifts.

Jesus' BAA seems to be in some sect that perhaps stops short of snake-handling, but includes glossolalia. [Although wouldn't the deaf parishioners have to sign in tongues?] But the cheapness and alcohol phobia definitely fit.

Enclosure #2 is an 8 1/2 by 11 sheet [done on the office printer?]: the couple's photo, with groom's smiling display of his bad teeth. Below the photo—

Sonny is the son of Sonny Xxxxx and Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant.
Sonny is pursing a career in network administration.

[Translation: he's struggling to not flunk out of community college.]

Elly May is the daughter of ...
Elly May is pursing a career in sales with Lia Sophia jewelry.

A "career" in home sales parties! And she's being "mentored" in this by Jesus' BAA, who's been doing these parties.

Though Clever Sister suspects this is what she's really selling.

A NYT "Weddings" page power couple, this ain't. Though since the bridal shower, the gift begging has become slightly more ambitious:

Sonny and Elly May are registered at Sears (Sears.com)...[local chain]...Target (Target.com) and Mikasa (Mikasa.com).

The wedding is at the end of the month. Typically, Jesus' BAA is only taking a couple of days off, so is available to be annoying throughout most of July.

Which is when there's a huge local story—Google has announced plans to open a facility in town...and the residents are bewitched by visions of dollar signs dancing before their eyes. It sounds like there will be only a handful of jobs, but a large segment of town seems to believe they personally are about to be hired. And the real estate owning types expect Google will buy their particular piece of property.

I know about this because people are blogging furiously, and Clever Sister has been sending me links. Then, this arrives from CS:

Does anyone have information on where Google is interviewing or on how to apply? There is nothing on the Google website indicating they have openings.
—[signed with first name identical to that of Jesus' BAA]

CS' reaction—

Is it her? If u are too stooped to figgur how to apply don't...

Jesus' BAA most certainly would believe she can get Sonny a job—she sees herself as a first-rate expert who knows exactly how things are done in the professional world.

But I think it's too unlikely the post would be hers. Her name isn't all that uncommon, for one thing. But mainly, I don't see her finding her way to an "urban" blog—who knows what kind of heathens might be hanging around there, after all.

But Clever Sister is convinced that the post is really from Jesus' BAA. CS goes into action, replying to the poster of the question about interviews—

If you can't figure out to apply maybe you or your family should not bother?
—Larry & Sergey

That post is followed by a helpful person, John Q, who offers a link to the job postings.

Followed by a reply—

John Q,
Are you forgetting your Darwin?
—Larry & Sergey

24 hours later, CS says about the thread:

So far, since yesterday, L&S have the last word!
They must think that was really from L&S and Google won't build here if they reply!

In other news this month, C.I.A. Closes Unit Focused on Capture of bin Laden . Mission Accomplished, no doubt. And bin Laden certainly has served his purpose when there's been the need to fill the media with a boogeyman.

And as Jonathan Schwartz observes, We're Making Real Progress! Comparing remarks by Bush slightly before the Iraq invasion with some after the mid-month G-8 meeting—

You see, he's learning! ...Bush doesn't know who or where different kinds of Muslims are. But still, after a brief 5 years of our "war on terror," he has learned they exist!

And Bush vetoes stem cell legislation—to date, his only outright veto.

Because, the transcript says, science "offers temptations to manipulate human life and violate human dignity"...

Something Bush and crew are already doing only too well on their own.

July 2005: VIP Service

This month brings the changing of the guard—longtime department chair Dr. Gott retires to his research, and his replacement, Dr. G. Zuss, arrives.

Although Dr. G. Zuss doesn't bring along his own person, he could replace Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant, should he get the urge. So, Jesus' BAA is frantic to prove herself indispensable.

She comes in early, leaves late, takes 10-minute lunches...

Fresh from an institution elsewhere in the country and not knowing the landscape (and landmines) here, Dr. G. Zuss is content to have a dogged gatekeeper, who is always to be seen at her desk. From there she controls access to him, orders his lunches, and does whatever she can think of to dazzle him.

But give Jesus' BAA an inch and she will overstep miles...

As the family gets settled in their locale, Dr. G. Zuss talks of planning summer outings with Mrs. Dr. G. Zuss and the kids.

Jesus' BAA bursts out with an offer: she can babysit the kids and take them to a Friday event in her town, so the Dr. and Mrs. will have a night to themselves.

I clamp my mouth tight, to keep from screaming, "Don't let those kids anywhere near her!"

But there's no need to intercede. Dr. G. Zuss face changes to an apparent mild exasperation, but he says nothing.

In the future, this is something I will see often, and not only in response to weirdness from Jesus' BAA. Dr. G. Zuss often suppresses a reaction when underlings (including me) speak; it seems he is simply startled at being spoken to by an inferior, and does not deign to respond.

The non-response to her offer of an evening's indoctrination of his children is only a momentary setback for Jesus' BAA, who redoubles her efforts to please.

After noting what's a hit at her first executive lunch order, she phones catering—"What's the name of those bars with the coconut-chocolate-nut filling?" She records the answer for her rolodex. Then, ordering two trays full of sugary overkill, she sounds about to swoon—gasping out, "they're my boss' favorite!"

By the end of the month, she's glowing with martyrdom to the point of wandering into my space and picking up work of mine to do! She can have it (all of it!), as much as I care... But she sure looks ready to be Raptured™ away at any moment!

If only... And if so, it can't be too soon for me.

It's just a good thing that Jesus' BAA is safely married, or she would begin making slips à là Condi Rice: "My husb - I mean, Dr. Zuss..."


It has been ordained by the upper reaches of the University: major job reclassification began on July 1. All persons in secretarial jobs now have a title other than "secretary." This because there had been murmurs of a union organizing drive—hey, presto!—if there are no "secretaries," they can't be organized by the union that would have represented them. Of course, this takes care of the vast majority of women working for the University.

Not that the danger of secretaries here joining a union was ever high: even if most are less insane than Jesus' BAA, they usually are like her in being very self-identified with their masters.

But management is taking no chances, so "secretaries" are no longer seen on campus. Except for pretty much every day; when I look at job announcements, the listings cleared by HR include this supposedly non-existent job. It's OK for the disappeared title to stick around—just as long as no one can claim it as a reason to join a union.


Later in July, John Aravosis writes about executive decisions of the kind with deadly consequences—Bush admin may be responsible for botching effort to thwart London bombing.

According to British officials, the London transport bombings had been planned for the last two years, and a year ago, they were forced to hastily arrest a dozen of the plotters. But others got away, having been tipped off by a Bush Terra Alert— timed to follow the 2004 Democratic convention.

Juan Cole's August 2004 piece, The Outing of Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan: State of Play, outlines how the cover of an al-Qaeda double-agent reporting to the British was destroyed. Tom Ridge's August 1, 2004 announcement of "an unusually specific" threat against named buildings in the NY financial district, Newark, and DC clued the press to discover and report the agent's name. Which then led the British to make the premature arrests.

Since the London bombings, Cole's update: The Ghost of Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan.

Upon catching side-by-side international cable news shows a couple of days after July 7, Bob Harris reports on Media after the London bombings: compare and contrast—

One of these things is not like the other. One [CNN International] is constant, constant fear-pandering. The other [BBC World Service] -- from the country that actually suffered the bombings, no less -- is still reporting something resembling actual news, with something resembling a dose of actual perspective.

And so far, nobody on the CNN show seems to have realized that a London crammed with security cameras seemingly every few feet... didn't keep the bombing victims safe at all...

Harris points to the deceptiveness of CNN's message, in "advocating measures which attack our freedom much more directly than anything a terrorist can do."

And in a statement sadly unthinkable for our own political class, London mayor Ken Livingstone says of the attack—

It was aimed at ordinary, working-class Londoners, black and white, Muslim and Christian, Hindu and Jew, young and old. It was an indiscriminate attempt to slaughter, irrespective of any considerations for age, for class, for religion, or whatever.

...Londoners will not be divided by this cowardly attack. They will stand together in solidarity alongside those who have been injured and those who have been bereaved and that is why I'm proud to be the mayor of that city.

And ending with words directed to the terrorists—

In the days that follow look at our airports, look at our sea ports and look at our railway stations and, even after your cowardly attack, you will see that people from the rest of Britain, people from around the world will arrive in London to become Londoners and to fulfil their dreams and achieve their potential.

...They flee you because you tell them how they should live. They don't want that and nothing you do, however many of us you kill, will stop that flight to our city where freedom is strong and where people can live in harmony with one another. Whatever you do, however many you kill, you will fail.

June 2007: Makeover

The Office of the Chairman returns to its original space, after a three month redo.

It's been an even longer saga. Before work could begin, there were several months of meetings between Dr. G. Zuss and interior decorators. They brought sample after sample, in a procession much like one of hapless subjects bringing offerings to placate a jaded king. As Dr. G. Zuss is so keen on "our corporate branding," no detail of wall treatment or furniture selection was too small for his scrutiny and thumbs down or up.

Now we're surrounded by the results: dark red walls and blonde furniture. People from around the Department make sure they are seen stopping by to ooh and ahh over how bright and shiny. The luckiest do it when The Decorator-in-Chief is around, so as to note they've paid tribute. Even so, a couple of dissidents have whispered to me, "it kind of clashes, doesn't it?"

Then there's the day the boss compliments Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant on the red dress she's wearing—for coordinating with his decor!

Actually, what she wore clashed badly with the wall. Perhaps he suffers from color-blindness; it would explain his paint choice.

Jesus' BAA—need I say?—was as close to Rapture™ as could be. After all, the boss may not be Jesus, but he is her worldly master, so his praise is next best. Despite that excitement, J's BAA thought fast! "Dr. Schmoe's Assistant and I have been saying: we need a clothing budget, so we can be appropriate for the improvements!"

Quick thinking pays off, and the great man laughs.

Having made a funny, Jesus' BAA repeats it to any and all admin assistant types who enter the room. After quoting herself, she pauses to say, "I'm joking." And just to prove it: she pauses again, to rev up to just-a-notch-below-hysteria level of laughter. And once she gets that started, she takes it for a lengthy spin...

I have to hear this process repeated the rest of the goddamn day. And no doubt, for however long I will work in this room...

A big feature of the remodel is that Cruella has maneuvered an early move to an office of her own, where she begins "my new role"—no longer supervising lowlife secretaries, but instead serving as HR officer for faculty.

She summonsed me to her new space, to say, "You will be returning—temporarily" to the throne room. Then I will be moved somewhere else, or perhaps be sacked, she doesn't know which. In any case, someone else (she doesn't know who) needs to take over my current job.

Cruella presents final decisions as to be made by a new Department Administrator; another part of the redo is that Ghengis will "retire" (meaning only that he won't be here full-time).

Plans to kick me out the door are of course Cruella's doing. She detects an insufficient degree of servility and fawning, and before she left the immediate premises, she wanted to curry favor with Dr.G. Zuss by lining things up to replace me with someone better at servility and fawning. As always, she came up with a lame cover story no one can seriously be expected to believe.

But not having to inhabit the same space as Cruella is already a big improvement. Now, if we pass in the hall she doesn't acknowledge my existence. Nice that there seems to be no further interaction ever required.

Ghengis, however, is still very much with us. The day of the move, he called together the remaining servant class—Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant and me. First thing he has to say: "We'll have to be very careful about what we place on furniture surfaces."

Meaning: the master's surroundings are not to be sullied by our return to that space, so we'd better get ourselves there without any visible signs of a move (e.g., cartons). By teleportation, then? Technology would not seem to be keeping up with what would best please Dr. G. Zuss.

Ghengis also means that, although we're expected to order and receive purchases for the whole Department, packages must be invisible until someone bothers picking them up. This is a new extreme of the usual expectation that the womenfolk work non-stop at doing the bidding of all, while also letting no piece of paper mar the pristine orderliness of their desks.

Next, Ghengis informs us to prepare for an immanent Big Announcement on permissible décor for staff. It seems soon Our Leader will promulgate a new policy: that personal photos and decorations are not to be displayed.

Cynical as I am, even I find this surprising. I've lived with micromanaging of the executive suite for nearly three years, as is only to be expected in such a pompous hierarchy. But suddenly, they intend telling several hundred people to spend their lives at the office, without being allowed so much as a picture of the kids on their desks! Isn't that a big thing keeping the workforce under control—that they display the family photos to keep reminding themselves of why they have to be there? And they post official Office Humor, of the "Dilbert" ilk. Those are small enough safety valves, and meant so employees don't do anything rash, like try to unionize, or show up with an AK-47...

Personally, I would never dream of displaying pictures or anything the least bit personal—not the way I spend 40 hours a week trying to divorce myself emotionally from this environment. Still, it's rather astounding that even a control freak on the level of Dr. G. Zuss would go against something so sacred.

Not to mention—if you dare gaze upon his office, what's the first thing you will see? A display of his family photos!

Well, word starts to get around, and it seems the mutterings are bad enough to cause Dr. G. Zuss to back off. So far, no staff have been separated from the grand-kids' photos and desktop teddy bears.

While The Leader of our Department appears to give up one of his schemes for combined interior design and behavior modification, the Homeland's Leader faces no interference in his Extreme Makeover project.

About the ongoing remake of our most basic principles, Hilzoy notes that this month—

...six human rights groups released a report (pdf) on 39 people who they think the US government might be holding in undisclosed locations, and whose location is presently unknown. (Thus, they are not counting anyone known to be at Guantanamo or Bagram; just people who are missing.) That we have disappeared anyone is shocking, and a violation of treaties we have signed and ratified.

This report has gotten a fair amount of play, but in all the coverage I've read, only the Philadelphia Inquirer has mentioned what is, to me, the most awful allegation: that we disappeared young children...

In a noble effort by some American kids, Presidential Scholars Tell the President 'No' on Torture, presenting him with a letter to say—

"As members of the Presidential Scholars class of 2007, we have been told that we represent the best and brightest of our nation. Therefore, we believe we have a responsibility to voice our convictions. We do not want America to represent torture. We urge you to do all in your power to stop violations of the human rights of detainees, to cease illegal renditions and to apply the Geneva Convention to all detainees, including those designated enemy combatants."

In response, whitehouse.org reports: President Graciously Responds to Retarded Anti-Torture Ramblings of Insolent Teenaged Nerds.

June 2006 (II): 666

That is, calendar date 06-06-06. pennypostcards.com

Which soon was followed by an anti-climactic 06-07-06.

Perhaps some fundies were quietly raptured away, or at least went into hiding on the 6th. As far as I can tell, though, it was just another day in another month and year, here in the world Cheneybush hath wrought.

Responding to the suicides of three Guantanamo detainees, camp commander Rear Admiral Harry Harris

...said he did not believe the men had killed themselves out of despair.

"They are smart. They are creative, they are committed," he said.

"They have no regard for life, either ours or their own. I believe this was not an act of desperation, but an act of asymmetrical warfare waged against us."

A Tiny Revolution notes Other Ways They Are Waging Asymmetrical Warfare Against Us. Including such clever subterfuges as, Not Being A Terrorist, and, Being [a civilian] 4 Years Old.

The Homeland's Leader has been plagued by asymetrical terroristic disrespect from people like the wheelchair-bound man who did not rise in Dear Leader's presence.

This month, it's terroristic wearing of sunglasses, by a blind reporter.

Digby last month, after the wheelchair incident—

There's an interesting simple psychology involved in such things. If someone can coerce those in a group to help him attack a single member they become his accomplices. For instance, getting everybody in the press corps to laugh at a reporter's baldness makes those reporters part of the president's gang. And, of course, it intimidates them. If they stray, they too will be subject to that kind of public humiliation. It's the evil fratboy theory of social relations, very primitive stuff. That Bush may be reduced to plying this unconsciously with senior citizens in wheelchairs is not surprising, given his poll numbers.

Back on 666 day, Dave Neiwert pointed to "The targets of the psy war"—the targets being the American public. The media serving to "catapult" the administration's propaganda.

Neiwert quotes Craig Unger—

For more than two years it has been widely reported that the U.S. invaded Iraq because of intelligence failures. But in fact it is far more likely that the Iraq war started because of an extraordinary intelligence success—specifically, an astoundingly effective campaign of disinformation, or black propaganda, which led the White House, the Pentagon, Britain’s M.I.6 intelligence service, and thousands of outlets in the American media to promote the falsehood that Saddam Hussein’s nuclear-weapons program posed a grave risk to the United States.

Unger interviewed former intelligence and military analysts who had worked in a variety of agencies, and "at least nine of these officials believe that the Niger documents were part of a covert operation to deliberately mislead the American public."

Unger's sources, says Neiwert, confirm "from the inside [what] some of us observed from the outside fairly early on," that—

...The entire meaning of the Iraq war -- and by extension, the "war on terrorism" -- is inextricably bound up in the psychological manipulation of the voting public through a relentless barrage of propaganda.

This is why the both the runup to the war and its subsequent mishandling have been so replete with highly symbolic media events -- many of them played repeatedly on nightly newscasts -- that have proven so hollow at their core, from the declarations of imminent threat from Iraq's supposed weapons of mass destruction, to phony images of Saddam's statue being torn down, to flyboy antics aboard airline carriers, to meaningless "handovers" of power. It also explains why certain important and humanizing symbols of wartime -- civilian casualties, the returning flag-draped coffins -- have been so notably absent from our views of the war.

The role of the media in this manipulation cannot be understated. The abdication of the media's role as an independent watchdog and its whole subsumation as a propaganda organ bodes ill for any democracy, because a well-informed public is vital to its functioning.

Hell being co-workers, no special date is needed. For that matter, the fundies at work don't talk specifically about the EndTimes™ stuff, although they no doubt fall for it. Instead, what I generally have to hear is inane conversation about whatever comes up in the course of the work day.

Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant phoned the faculty secretaries to ask what each of their bosses wants to drink with a lunch she's planning. When one of the faculty happened to walk in, she asked him directly. The answer: "A sweet German white would be good!"

Jesus' BAA waits for him to leave, takes a deep breath, then asks Cruella: "What's a sweet German white?"

Cruella—unhesitating expert on all subjects—shoots back, "A coffee drink!" A fraction of a second later: "No! It's a beer!"

It must be painful for Jesus' BAA to be Cruella's subordinate, rather than being the ordained authority herself. And Cruella is never more sure of herself than when she's inventing a snap answer to something she knows nothing about. Jesus' BAA has her peculiar mentality of aspiring to reach the top of the Administrative Assistant heap,while also being so unacquainted with ungodly, worldly things that she cannot understand a mild joke from a faculty guy. Yet, she does so want to Improve Herself into understanding what faculty are talking about. On the other hand, who knows if she wants to understand such talk mainly to learn what forces in need of conversion she is up against.

Getting started on this topic leads to another notable date this month: 6/16, when a non-faculty staffer stopped by on some business or other.

His usual topic of discussion with Cruella and Jesus' BAA is American Idol, but that's over for the season. Now, this guy is so completely deadpan that I can't know for certain about what follows. Though it's possible he's genuinely reaching for a topic, he sure seems to be baiting the most unlikely of persons. Either way, he asks Jesus' BAA if she realizes that today is Bloomsday? And—cherry on top!—has she ever read Ulysses?

That line cannot be topped for this month. Anyway, in another week Jesus' BAA is at away at Camp Su-Mo-Fo. In her absence, there's a surrogate provider of daily annoyance.

Red State Girl is forever trying to browbeat secretaries into crowning her Social Director. This time around, it's this e-mail—

Thursday June 29th GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!! Please let me know if you are going so I can make reservations at Olive Garden right after work or 5:00 pm. For anyone interested I still have not seen The Breakup with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston so perhaps a movie after.

Hope to see you all!

Clever sister responds:

Yuummmm!
Olive Garden!!!!!!
Eyetalyan food!!!!
Can we go ?

Sure—to CS it might be a bit of amusing tourism, but I'm stuck spending my days with these people. Anyhow, GIRLS NIGHT OUT soon is cancelled, due to lack of interest.

Later the same day...(the demands never end). From the subject line, I thought Red State Girl was going into competition with Jesus' BAA and her camp crafts—

Date: 6/22/2006 1:33 PM
Subject: Egg Cartons

My nephews are raising Rhode Island Red and another variety of laying hens, 20 in all and will be selling brown eggs for 4H. They will need lots of egg cartons because these hens can lay 2 or more eggs a day each...

So I have been asked if I could collect egg cartons...Just drop them on my desk if I am not there.

Thank you in advance!

Clever Sister:

it will cost her if she wants any damm egg cartons from me!