February 2008: Crime And Selective Punishment

watertiger: "Happy Valentine's Day from the Bush Administration."

The same day, hardly a valentine: Glenn Greenwald offers FISA 101. It includes a question which answers itself: "Are establishment journalists truly incapable of understanding the most basic facts about eavesdropping, or are they unwilling?"

Or, maybe they are smart enough to avoid giving offense to the Listeners. A few days later the Supreme Court refuses to hear the suit brought by prominent persons—journalists among them—who've been spied on by the regime.

Back to Valentine's Day: The Washington Post runs an article by Elliot Spitzer—Predatory Lenders' Partner in Crime. Spitzer details how, in the early stages of the subprime mortgage disaster, states' attorneys general began working together to control predatory bank practices—only to be thwarted at the federal level.

Less than a month later: Spitzer is no longer New York governor, having been stupid enough to be trapped by post-9/11 bank surveillance. Which, like electronic eavesdropping, is not just for terra-ists: it conveniently watches everyone, especially political enemies. And so: regime takes down another Democratic governor.

February 2007: I Hate Breathing

Band poster, found on a utility pole.

Which about sums up the years of this regime and all that it's pulled off, from the "Clear Skies" style attacks on the environment, to the toxic acts on all other fronts.

This month, there's some rare media coverage, as the Washington Post begins a series exposing conditions at Walter Reed.

Weekdays I'm surrounded by people who believe anything approaching journalism must be a lie invented by a fantastical "liberal media." Or, if they acknowledge any facts, they convince themselves that these things could have happened only because evil bureaucrats do bad things they know they must hide from the godly Leader's disapproval.

From mid-month, Cruella is on a Carribean cruise for 2½ weeks. She takes off nearly as much time as Bush, but I'm free of her presence pretty often, even if I'm trapped in a room with Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant.

While Cruella is gone, Jesus' BAA emails (cc: Ghengis) to inform me that she will be conducting a candidate for a muckety-muck administrative job from office to office, for the various faculty muckety-mucks to check him out.

"I will be out of the office from 2:30 – 3:00 pm on Wednesday. On Thursday, I will be out for a few minutes at 8:30, 9:00, 2:30, and 3:00. Please arrange your breaks around those times."

It's to highlight what a bad employee I am, taking breaks as I do.

I send the schedule to Clever Sister, who says, "But which minutes will she be gone? Shouldn't you know precisely which ones?"

During one of the Jesus' BAA-less minutes, Dr. G. Zuss exits his office and remarks that His assistant sure likes the heat on high. I check the thermostat between her desk and his office: it's on 80. I turn it down, and leave Jesus' BAA a helpful note, just so she will be sure to know she has done something displeasing.

This is strictly for her own good—just as she looks for reasons to inform on me to Cruella, for my own good. Could this deflect some of Cruella's tirades from Jesus' BAA to me? That would be suspicious of me to think so, as Jesus' BAA has no selfish motives, but does only godly things in everyone's best interst. So the least I can do is return the favor.

I note the goings on to Clever Sister, who replies, "wtwjp - what temperature would jebus prefer?"

On the 21st, Tony Blair announces troop withdrawals from Iraq. Reading the news at her computer, Jesus' BAA looks crushed.

Clever Sister later says she heard ABC mumble the news to make it sound as if Blair were sending more troops.

On the 27th, Cheney is in Afghanistan, where he is the apparent target of a bomb that doesn't touch him, but kills a number of other people. Presumably, to the great relief of Jesus' BAA, after the terrible scare she got a year ago.

Driftglass notes:

"'Behold a Pale Horse: and his name that sat on him was Death,
and Hell followed with him'

...I am also very confused by the story itself, since we know that the Taliban has been utterly defeated in Afghanistan.

How?

Well, because our government said so:

For your RDA of irony, we'll shall cite this from the People’s Daily January, 2002:

The United States on Tuesday formally announced that the Taliban has been completely defeated and can no longer control any territory in Afghanistan."

February 2006 (II): More Tragedy Averted

It's February 13, and no patriot can be happier or more relieved than Jesus' Best Administrative Assistant: "When I heard the news, I was afraid Vice President Cheney had been shot!"

But because even most fervent of the Bush-loving Rapture Ready may be in need of testing, Jesus' BAA will soon face a month of medical crises in her own home.

Actually, it's at the office, where she will face the medical crises of her home... And I will be subjected to hearing about them.

This all begins mid-month. She's on the phone, presumably with husband Sonny. Sonny, Jr., ex-Marine, has a high fever. There's a flurry of calls, then a trip to Emergency. More incoming calls; then from her side of the room: "BRAIN HEMORRHAGE?!! MY SON MAY BE DYING!!!"

Here, I need all caps of my own, since I want to ask:

IF THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, IS IT TOO MUCH TO EXPECT YOU TO LEAVE AND DEAL WITH IT, INSTEAD OF SUBJECTING EVERYONE IN EARSHOT TO YOUR MELODRAMA?

I already know the answer: the martyr must not leave this room because her Earthly Master might need his Assistant.

Later that afternoon, it's determined that Sonny, Jr. has a virus—not brain hemorrhage—and is not dying. Jesus' BAA announces that since she is having such a stressful day, she will need to leave the room long enough to buy a bag of potato chips.

When she returns, she's regained her usual façade of certitude that All Is Well And Is In God's Plan. A façade she will maintain, more or less, until the next crisis.

A couple of days later, the teen-aged daughter develops a "stomach ache" that impels her to phone Jesus' BAA throughout the day. It's like clockwork with this bunch: if one is sick, the others quickly find a way to bid for Mommy's attention. It might seem Jesus' BAA would consider that her family needs her doing her jeezusly duty at home, instead of being a brazen Career Woman... but that would require too much consistency from the mind of a right-winger.

Jesus' BAA brushes off the daughter's ploy. A few days later, there's a new round of calls from home. This time Jesus' BAA is a more discreet than during the Sonny, Jr. scare. She keeps her voice low, but I hear: "Your arm is swelling? I'm sure it will be fine..."

Later: "Your arm is twice its normal size? I'm sure it will be fine..."

Later still: "It's turning purple? I'm sure it'll be fine..."

Finally, Jesus' BAA addresses the room: "My husband was bitten by our pet starfish!"

Now, after a year and a half here, I have much experience with needing to retrieve my jaw from the floor. But this reaches a whole new level of gob-smacking.

After I've composed myself enough to send the story to Clever Sister, she works her research magic, sending me this:

There's only 1 venomous starfish: "crown of thorns" (!)
1. Phylum echinodermata, Class Asteroidea. Acanthaster planci. This is the only known venonomous starfish, its arms having large spins with venom producing integument. The composition of the venom is unknown.
2. Symptoms: Rapid onset of edema, erythema and pain. Cleanse the wound and apply topical antibiotics. Give tetanus protection.

An attack by a "pet" selected because it sounds like jeezus' favorite echinoderm?...words fail...

Photo: Michael Wood
Paris and the Surrealists, by George Melly

February 2006 (I): Tenderized And Lightly Peppered

On February 11 Cheney shoots hunting partner.

"Peppered" soon becomes the requisite media term. As the victim hastens to apologize to Cheney,
the "peppering" is made to sound as if Dick had done Harry a tremendous favor...Maybe something like Russians beating each other with birch branches in the banya?

Among the messages and news clips from Clever Sister in the next couple of days:
2/13 -
--"He is stable and doing well. It was almost like he was spending time with
me in my living room," said hospital administrator Peter Banko, who
visited Whittington.--

--Really did hear this on the BBC this AM:
A woman in the midwest was being interviewed about the shooting of Dick
Cheney's hunting buddy and she actually said, "Well, if you're going to be
shot by someone, it's at least an honor to be shot by the Vice President."
I guess the WMD are being moved to Iran right now!--

2/14 -
-- 1:56 PM BREAKING NEWS: The 78 year old lawyer who was shot by Vice President Dick Cheney in a
hunting accident has some birdshot lodged in his heart and he had "a
minor heart attack" Tuesday morning, hospital officials said.

from peppered to birdshot in his heart!--

-- 2:24 PM he still has approximately 150 to 200 bird shot pellets still in his body.
So, the upper limit is about 72 pellets per shell. 150 pellets in the guy means Dicky fired twice or thrice.

-- 3:35 PM Now some of the headlines changed to "heart irregularity" or "heart scare"

they musta gotten the call from Karl!

The shooting has aroused sympathy for Cheney in South Texas, where many locals hunt and accept that there is always the risk of an accident. "If it happens every once in a while, we're not alarmed by it," Carlos Valdez, the local district attorney, said of nonfatal accidental shootings.


A week before all this, we had the rare occasion where some mild truth was spoken in Bush's presence: Coretta Scott King's funeral. Followed, of course, by media condemnation of the truth tellers.

Cheney's blasting his friend will be the rare Bush distraction that's at least mildly gratifying. We have the spectacle of Harry's sorrow over "all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this week."

And the rare honest glimpse of a loaded and armed Cheney inspires the creative.

Bob Harris posts a poll, the results including:

If you're innocent, you shouldn't mind a shotgun blast to the face -
60.8%

The Patriot Act gives Cheney the legal authority to shoot guys in the face -
22.4%


Firedoglake runs a haiku contest—Dickfest. The 500+ entries include plenty of gems to keep Clever Sister and me trying not to laugh out loud at work:

An accident it must have been,
And not a planned attack
Because Dick shot him in the face
Instead of in the back.

When William Clinton was the president
To get a blow job was a big disgrace.
But times have changed, now it's OK
To shoot a load in some old geezer's face!

There once was a Veep from Halliburton
Who knew that his poll numbers were hurtin
As he turned on the shooter,he thought he saw Scooter
And prayed Plamegate was buried for certain.

Dick's friend? Shot in the head.
Iraqis? Around 100,000 dead.
Congress? Power's been bled.
Demoracy? She's been put to bed.

And the winner:

If epitaphs were polygraphs,
This, terse and edifying,
Would crown the veep in final sleep:
Here lies Big Time--still lying.

Of course, nothing will interfere with Business As Usual.

The Social Security privatization that Bush can't achieve politically has been sneaked into the budget.

And,

From: Clever sister
To: Pink
Date: 2/21/2006 1:30 PM
Subject: they don't waste any time do they?

NYT headline: "Supreme Court Reopens Abortion Issue on Alito's First Day"

And why Republicans need never take responsibility -

From: Clever sister
To: Pink
Date: 2/21/2006 3:48 PM
Subject: Washington did it!

Bush Blames Energy Lab Cuts on Mix Up

February 2005: Bimbo [Non-] Eruption

At work, someone has been very busy: plastering the women's room with heart decals and other Chinese slave labor-made $1 store schlock.

In the virtual world, The "Jeff Gannon" saga that begins emerging has to be told with heavy use of quote marks: "journalist;" "Talon News;" "ex-Marine"—everything in James Guckert's story is fake.

A few reliable journalists like Charlie Savage do some reporting, and place this in the context of regime practices like paying off columnists and sending fake news videos to broadcast outlets.

But for the most part, it's bloggers who do the digging.

On DailyKos, SusanG writes a series that begins by raising a little question: "Did the White House dribble the Plame leak through its own fake mouthpiece news source?"

On americablog, John Aravosis reports other instances where Guckert may have been fed information from the administration. Aravosis writes on February 18, " A news producer for a major network's local affiliate just told me that Gannon told the producer the US was going to attack Iraq four hours before President Bush announced it to the nation."

Now, it certainly was a cinch for anyone observant to see the war coming, so was this just a career-building ploy by Guckert? In a few weeks, Raw Story posts John Byrne's report on White House logs obtained by Reps. Louise Slaughter and John Conyers. The documents show Guckert applied for a press pass under his real name (but at press briefings was called on by the fake name). And the Secret Service logs show White House visits on numerous dates when no briefings were held. In the post-9/11 security measures environment, there were fourteen dates missing either entry or exit time. Byrne also notes

Guckert sometimes stayed for an extended period of time before and after press conferences, particularly early in his tenure. This was especially common during his first few months [from February 2003], when he might be in the White House for as long as six hours.
...
Occasionally, the former Talon News reporter visited the White House twice on the same day. This was also most common in the early months.

"Bimbo eruption" was a press cliché during the Clinton years; there's nothing for the media to see in this White House. Mark Crispin Miller describes here how the supposed eagerness of the media to pounce on a sensational story is biased toward reporting stories that hurt Democrats, while refusing to see Republican transgressions that are much worse.

The last word—

From: Clever Sister
To: Pink
Date: 2/14/2005 2:16 PM
Subject: gannon

sorry this is a fun scandal
even though it won't hurt bush or rove etc.
NOT FOR WORK VIEWING!
john aravosis has lots of naked pics of gannon.

And this could sum up two shameful terms in office—

From: Clever Sister
To: Pink
Date: 2/15/2006 4:47 PM
Subject: my how things have changed

Back in the mid 1990s, the Republican controlled House of Representatives, aggressively delving into alleged misconduct by the Clinton administration, logged 140 hours of sworn testimony into whether former
president Bill Clinton had used the White House Christmas card list to
identify potential Democratic donors.

—But now there's nothing to investigate in Bush admn! — cs

Of course, that's the whole point of their "shock" tactics: no matter how bad a story is, there will always be the things they getting away with while attention is focused elsewhere.

And so, a couple of final items for the month:

John D-for-Death-squad Negroponte nominated as Director of National Intelligence.

And Bush's Social Security road show stops in Omaha, where among pre-arranged "town hall" participants is the single mother of a "mentally challenged" child/holder of three jobs. The vetters made no mistake as far as selecting a member of the Bush base—they just chose from the pathetic members of the small b "base."

After some hesitation, the crowd applauded Bush's response that having to work three jobs is "uniquely American." The clip is publicized by the usual suspects. But a look at the transcript reveals as always how Everything Is About Him. A Republican woman attempts to voice real life concerns to someone she believes will care, which he deflects while inserting patronizing banter and fake bonhomie. He must have been hustled out of there fast, before he could start addressing her as, "Three Jobba Momma."


Now this looks like an ideal new animal management/soul-saving/busybody meddling project for Jesus's Best Administrative Assistant—

From: Clever Sister
To: Pink
Date: 2/10/2005 9:25 AM
Subject: did ya see this? funny

Zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight
A German zoo has imported four female penguins from Sweden in an effort to
tempt its gay penguins to go straight...

—Why don't they send these penguins to the ex-gay church, or get them drunk & give them viagra?—cs